We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
