Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
