weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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