would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize