So drunk, too bad you don't want this
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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