i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
