So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
