Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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