I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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