I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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