It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize