I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
