My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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