Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
