My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
