Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
