I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
