i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
