Screwed.edu
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
