Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
