and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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