yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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