Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
