IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
