I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize