I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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