dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize