He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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