Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
