Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you win again, gameday.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
