Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize