i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize