Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
