I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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