we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
