I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
