but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Farmville is her only friend.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
