I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize