he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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