Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize