im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
