Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize