battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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