I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She bit a glass in half.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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