I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
