Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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