I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
