I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
