Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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