don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
