I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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