I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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