she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
