The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
