Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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