this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
