We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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