How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
