we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
