bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
