3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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